People can change#
Adler's teleology believes that "no matter what happened in the past, it has no effect on how you live your life in the future." People are not controlled by their environment, but rather by their subjective will to live in the "here and now" - that is, what meaning you give to the past.
Adler opposes the theory of causality, so people living today or in the future will be helpless in life - everything is decided by past events and cannot be changed.
If teleology is acknowledged, it means that people can change.
Actually, I think these views are a bit like chicken soup. Whether you believe them or not is up to you, I don't fully believe them. Because both teleology and causality are too extreme, I believe that reality should be the result of the combined effect of objectivity (causality) and subjectivity (teleology).
Subjectivity is a choice#
Psychological trauma is just a subjective feeling at the moment, after all, not everyone gets the same result from the same trauma.
Emotions can be a "tool" fabricated based on a certain "purpose"
- In order to avoid the risk of rejection when confessing, one "fabricates" their own shyness.
- In order to avoid the tediousness of reasoning, or being trapped by parents' reasoning and losing the right to argue, children may suddenly get angry to stop communication.
Lifestyle: How someone perceives the world and themselves, the concept of "ways of giving meaning" can be understood as "lifestyle". That is, the attitude towards life.
- Lifestyle can be understood narrowly as personality; broadly, it can be understood as worldview and philosophy of life.
- Personality gives the impression of being unchangeable, but worldview can be changed - this brings us back to the initial judgment: people can change, the key is to subjectively realize this.
- Whether it is personality or worldview, they are all results of active choices. They are not innate, but because choosing such ways brings certain benefits - such as acknowledging one's own loneliness in personality, so as not to worry about socializing.
People's fear of fear#
Being obsessed with "what has been given" (the past), reality will not change, it is the same now and in the future. The reason why one thinks they are unfortunate is not because of the past or the environment, nor is it because of insufficient ability, but because of a lack of courage - the courage to make changes, the courage to possibly fail.
Because change brings unknown anxiety, staying the same is just dissatisfaction with the current situation. What people fear more is the unknown, so they choose to continue complaining about the current situation.
- Choosing to maintain the status quo, although it is bad, the past experience is enough to deal with the unchanging life.
- Choosing to change, life will have unknowns, existing experiences cannot solve new problems, leading to a loss of control over life (think about it, an unchanging life cannot be called life at all).
"On the other hand, even if you take a step out of your house, you will become one of the 'majority' who is ignored, even become an ordinary person inferior to others; and no one will pay attention to you. These are the psychological states that recluses often have."
How to change?#
The first step in change is to love yourself. Accept yourself in the present moment, what matters is not what has been given to you, but how to use what you already have.
Then, there must be a determination to "abandon the current way of life". Face the problem directly, do not avoid risks, and find excuses, otherwise life cannot be changed.
What is important is to face the problem directly, do not avoid it. Have the courage to change the current situation.
Try to change, dreams may shatter, but so what? This simple problem is in front of you, but you keep coming up with various "reasons why you can't do it", it is "yourself" that makes life complicated and difficult to find happiness.
Afterthoughts#
The world itself is not complex, it is entirely "you" who sees the world as complex. Blindly finding reasons to prove your own reasons,